Posted by: ohmypuddin | May 13, 2011

25 Things No One Told Me About Being an Adult

I tried to find a serious, adult picture of myself. I failed.

I really hate folding. Folding anything. But mostly folding clothes and towels. Hate it. Won’t do it. Refuse to do it.

I have no problem hanging up clothes. I don’t love it, but I’ll do it. But I hate folding.

So all of the clothes in my drawers are smashed, balled, crammed in. There’s no order to it. Ditto with John’s drawers, because I’m usually the one putting clothes away. Ditto on our linen closet, and the dish drawers. No folding at all.

I know I should fold things. It looks nicer. Things fit better. But I hate it, so I don’t do it.

It’s not really revolutionary, but two of my friends have told me that I’ve liberated them, for they too hate folding, and knowing that I don’t fold makes them feel like they don’t have to either. We just feel obligated to fold things, but we all hate it.

This got me thinking about all the things I thought about being an adult. There are so many things that you grow up thinking are required, or inherent, about being an adult. And they’re bullshit.

25 Things No One Told Me About Being an Adult

  1. You don’t have to make your bed.
  2. You don’t have to do the dishes.
  3. If you do the dishes, they can sit there, clean, for days. The world won’t end.
  4. With cars, you will always feel like you’re getting ripped off. The car you buy, the price you buy it at, the service package you get, the place you go to get your oil changed. It will always feel like you’re getting cheated. And sometimes you are. But you might never know the difference.
  5. All those things you don’t like to do? You can pay someone to do them.
  6. Having a dog is not like having a baby. Well, I don’t really know, because I don’t have a baby. But some people will try to tell you they’re similar, and they’re not.
  7. But dogs are not as easy as they seem. They also cost more money than you think.
  8. People will try to tell you you’re lame for not staying out late, drinking a lot, and partying. You’re not. You just need to stop hanging out with those people.
  9. You really do need insurance. All kinds. Health, dental, vision, etc.
  10. It’s OK to say no to people you don’t really like, event you don’t want to go to, things you can’t afford.
  11. The ability to make chit chat for more than 3 minutes will get you far in life. Ridiculously far.
  12. Relationships are work. Sometimes they’re a lot of work. But the ones that are worth it shouldn’t feel like that much work.
  13. Office politics are real. Everyone hates it. Everyone has to deal with it.
  14. Sometimes you do things to show the people you love that you care. This is an obligation. It feels meaningless to you, but it means a lot to the person you love.
  15. Keeping friends is hard. You have to actually communicate with people. You’ll have fewer friends than you did when you were a kid, but they’ll be better ones.
  16. You can eat cheese or cake or chips or wine for dinner. And breakfast. And lunch.
  17. But if you do, you’ll pay the price. You’ll put on weight, or feel bad, or both. Your metabolism, liver, and ability to eat a pound of cheese is not what it used to be.
  18. Your house doesn’t come with art on the wall and pretty knick knacks. You have to buy those, frame them, and hang them up. Yourself. Unless you pay someone to do it.
  19. That person you pay to do stuff for you? You have to find them, tell them what to do and when to do it, and pay them.
  20. Coordinating events, dinners, meetings, social outings, is harder than you think it is.
  21. Sometimes, being an adult is like being a kid, but instead of juice, you have wine.
  22. You don’t automatically know what to do when you become an adult. You just get better at hiding the fact that you don’t know what to do.
  23. Failing as an adult has major consequences that can mess up your whole life.
  24. But that doesn’t mean you can’t change. No one can tell you you can’t change. Don’t listen to them.
  25. People will tell you you’re not awesome, but that’s not true. You are awesome. No can make you not awesome except you.

Anything you thought about being an adult that turned out not to be true? Share it on the comments, or let me know on Twitter or Facebook.

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Responses

  1. Ironing, my mother was wrong, I didn’t need to learn to Iron !!! I hate ironing as much as I hate folding clothes. Who ever said draws and closets have to be neat. I think that sometimes, my draws and closets reflect how my brain works. Everything gets stuffed in. The important things manage to stay where I can excess them; the not so important stuff sifts to the bottom.
    Oh!!! I just got hit with a horrible thought. Could my enormously large bottom come from all the useless knowledge (and lately not so useless knowledge) that sifted down over the years? If that’s the case no wonder my dieting is not working.

  2. well of course you can eat chees,meats, cake, and ice cream for a meal and not get fat.you’ll be lacking essential nutrients,though.XP

  3. You can throw food away with out guilt. Even if you bought it and paid your hard earn money on it. You can admitt the new recipe you made did not turn out right and taste bad and pitch it. It is not taking food out of the mouths of the starving children of the world.
    You do not have to clean your plate or eat green beans unless you want to.

  4. when summertime comes around i wish i was 12 again.


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