WARNING: RAMBLING AHEAD
I love food. A lot. It keeps me alive. I like eating good food. Good-tasting food. That can be anything from a dinner at Il Sogno to Chik-Fil-A. I just like good food, whatever it is. I like high food and low food, but it has to be good.
When John and I got engaged, we both started trying to lose weight for the wedding. We both did pretty well and lost 35 pounds each. Since then, I’ve gained about 5-10 pounds of it back, depending on the day.
When I got married, that was the least I’ve weighed in years. I was proud of how much weight I’d lost. I worked hard to lose it. I managed portions, ate healthier, and worked out every single day. I worked out on my wedding day.
Since we got married, I’ve not been as maniacal about eating right and working out. I eat out more than I used to, and I’ll take a day off working out if I don’t feel like working out. I snack way more than I used to. I still eat better than I did before I lost the weight, but the discipline is waning.
I’ve realized that, since I work out a lot, my problem is food. I eat a lot of food. Food with more fat and carbs than protein. More food than I need to eat. It’s hard for me to stop eating good food. So how can I deal with this? How can I adjust my food without losing the tastes I love so much?
I tried signing up for calorie tracking and workout sites, but I don’t like to track calories. I try to eat less, but it always seems to backfire.
So my answer to that is to be happy with the body I have. For years, I’ve wanted to have that rail-thin body. But I’m never gonna have that, I think. Even if I lose the weight I want to lose, my body is predisposed to have bigger thighs and an hourglass shape. I just have to come to terms with that.
Part of what losing the weight made me realize is that losing weight makes you healthier, but it doesn’t change your body completely. You have to see yourself for who you are. As Stacy and Clinton say, you have to dress for the body you have, not the body you want. I have to stop trying to make my body something I can’t be, because then I will fail, become discouraged, and feel even worse about myself.
I should be happy with the body I have. I’m at a healthy weight for my height and age. I eat pretty well. I work out a lot. I try to do good things for my body. I’ll always have fat and parts of my body that I like less than others, but who doesn’t? I have to let go of the body I want and focus on making making my body healthier overall.
So in the end, when it comes to choosing between the food I love and the body I want, I chose to eat less of the food I love and letting go of the body I want. And I think I’ll be happier this way.