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Here is a random list of ways I know I’m getting older. I know, I know, we all get older, and it’s part of life, and nothing stays how it was, and back in my day, we didn’t even HAVE sunscreen and earplugs, and you kids have it so lucky these days, blah blah BLAH. Don’t care. Don’t leave comments about “just wait til you’re 40/50/60/100/a dinosaur! then you’ll see! you’ll all see!” because I WILL reply to you. Vehemently. You want to talk about how I don’t know about aging? Do it on your own blog.

Yes, I am cranky today. I didn’t get very good sleep last night, because of the wine.

• I have arthritis in my kneecap, and take glucosamine for it.
• I frequently lose my sunglasses…on my head.
• I can’t remember anything anymore.
• I go to bed at 9 most days, and get really mad when I don’t.
• I get up before the sun comes up.
• I don’t like places that are loud, smoky and overpriced.
• Getting out the door requires multiple trips to find missing items.
• I have become obsessed with the luminousness of my skin (or lack therof).
• Consuming more than 2 drinks means I will wake up at 2am.
• When I want to leave, I do.
• I invite people over rather than going out.
• I wear earplugs to bed.
• I get angry when I don’t get a good night’s sleep.
• I crave a good night’s sleep.
• I mix up my dogs and call them by the wrong names.
• I will switch topics mid-conversation.
• I grow herbs so I won’t have to buy them.
• Change makes me cranky.
• Lack of sleep makes me cranky.
• Hunger makes me cranky.
• Eating too much makes me cranky.
• Basically, any minor discomfort makes me cranky.
• I no longer try to lose weight. I try to maintain the weight I am.
• I make lists of ways I am old.

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Hey, been a long time, huh? Well, um, I checked out for a bit, and it’s now April. Crazy. So here’s a list of things I’ve been meaning to write.

• How to have a dinner club with 8 adults and 1 tiny child
• What’s in my purse, and how did it get there?
• On Being a “Strong Person”
• How can I eat the cheese and still lose weight? How, I ask you?
• Poached eggs make everything better, amiright?
• Dinner Club evolution and introductions
• Who are you and what do you want from me? Sorry, that was mean. I meant, hello! What would you like me to read?
• On Responsibility – Who is responsible and legally responsible
• How to Review a Restaurant (Or, Don’t Yell Hey Lauren When You See Me at a Restaurant, In Case I’m Reviewing It)
• What I’ve been eating lately – restaurants, blogs, food recaps – short recaps
• I bought a new bra, and that is apparently cause for celebration
• My dentist is a perfectionist, and my wallet is paying the price

Random, I know. I guess what I’m saying is that I want to blog about the things I want to blog about, not just food. More just…everything in my life. Do you like that? Do you want to read that? Ah, who am I kidding, I don’t really care. I’ll write about it anyway. Hope you stick around, weirdos!

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Hey girl,

Hey, oh hey! I didn’t even realize you were there, you’re so quiet. I’m just gonna go ahead and pee, mmmkay?

Hey, why aren’t you peeing? You were in here before me, but you’re not peeing. You’re not…oh…

You have to poop.

Look, I get it. Women are brought up to be ashamed that we poop. Women don’t poop, right? We don’t poop or fart. All of our waste drifts into the ether and gets reincarnated as butterflies and rainbows.

But it’s not true. We do poop!

Since we’re so ashamed of the fact that we poop, we don’t like other people hearing us poop. That’s why you’re over there, shuffling your feet, clearing your throat, unrolling more toilet paper (as if you’ve done anything to need it right now).

Maybe you are actually OK with pooping as long as no one can hear. But it’s hard to cover up that telltale plink of a turd hitting water. You can cough all you want, I know you’re a poopin’ fool over there.

And I just want you to know it’s totally cool. Really. I talk about poop probably more than most people, but I like to think we’re all OK with it. We all do it.

So poop away, fellow woman professional! I know it’s what you want to do. And trust me, you’ll much better once you do. I always do.

Cheers,

ohmypuddin

Beefed-Up Ramen Noodles

When I was a kid, my mom’s go-to sick kid meal was ramen noodles. Good old ramen. Boil that water, dunk the noodles in, add the dubious but ubiquitous flavor packet. Probably way too much sodium for anyone, but when you’re feeling sick, it’s bland and warm and reminds me of watching Nickelodeon on the couch.

Then came college, where ramen became a meal unto itself, perfect for when you can’t move off your bed (for whatever reason). Water was boiled in a electric tea kettle and noodles were eaten while reclined on a bed.

Now, ramen is for sick days and cold days and days when I can’t seem to get myself to the store for more food. These days, ramen can get fancy.

This ramen was born out of a need to eat and also not leave the house. It was a cold evening, and we were both feeling sniffly, and neither one of us wanted to venture into the howling black night in search of sustenance.

Ramen! With some chopped sautéed chicken breast, carrots, cilantro, and curry powder, it makes for a well-rounded meal. This is called beefed-up ramen, but that’s beef in the “make mo better” sense, not beef in the moo cow sense. Use whatever protein you like. Or don’t, won’t offend me none.

For a cold and windy day

Ingredients:

• 2 packets of ramen noodles
• Meat of your choice
• 4 carrots
• A bunch of green onions
• Cilantro
• Curry powder

1. Cook that meat! However you want, really. Maybe sautee it? Or grill it? Or maybe roast it? Whatever. Just don’t overcook it. Do what you want! Be free like a bird! Set aside.
2. Cut up your carrots into the sticks or coins or whatever. Hey, maybe toss in a few other veggi
3. es you have around, like some broccoli or cauliflower or leeks. Whatever! Sautee/grill them all together.
4. Boil a pot of water with a couple tablespoons of butter and a couple tablespoons of olive oil in it. When it’s boiling, add the noodles and remove from heat. Stir. Stir those noodles. Get your back into it. Get those noodles cooked, but just so. Al dente. For reals. Toss in some curry powder, I don’t know, maybe a couple teaspoons. Taste after each teaspoon. Don’t like curry? Then toss in whatever spice you like, weirdo! I’m not the spice police. You just want to spice it up so it’s doesn’t just taste like ramen. Maybe some cumin or lemon pepper or mustard. Whatever! Live your life!
5. Toss your noodles and broth together with your mea
   t and veggies.
6. Voila! Beefed-up ramen!

Yeah, so this is kind of a throw-it-together, any idiot can do this kind of recipe, which is to say it’s not a recipe at all. It’s more of an idea that was born of desperation and hunger and serious lack of ingredients. Which is where the best ideas come from. And since it was a good idea, I thought I’d share. Plus, the last post I put up, I totally forgot to put in the recipe, so now I’m paranoid about the recipes.

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This post is called Quinoa Cups, but could also be called, Eating Healthy Sucks Sometimes But Doesn’t Have To.

I’m pretty sure that we all know that we should eat less, eat better and exercise more. That’s not news to any of us, right?

So blah blah, eating better, blah blah healthy cakes. Whatever. It’s a new year, and yet another chance to eat better.

I’ve been making these quinoa cups for breakfast. One or two does the trick. They’re essentially mini frittatas, with quinoa subbed in for some of the egg. I mean, there’s egg in it. But there’s an assload of quinoa too, which is magical and is made of unicorn tail or something. Whatever. It’s good for you! And definitely better than eating a stack of pancakes or bacon, which is what we really want to be eating.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about restarting my diet and tastebuds. Less cheese and carbs, more yogurts, proteins, produce. Bon Appetit does a great food lover’s cleanse every year, and the idea is to keep it healthy and flavorful – use more good fats, less carbs, and more seasonal produce. The salmon breakfast sounds interesting and easy to me, I’ll probably try it out. Essentially, it helps you reset your palate by eating more good foods and fewer bad foods. Which is what we should all be doing anyway.

So this is a start. A healthier start.

Between everything happening with my home life last year, I gained a fair amount of weight last year. Not a huge amount, but enough to go up a few pant sizes. It’s not the end of the world, but it’s time to get back to where I was before – exercising, eating less and better, feeling better about myself.

I started a new job in December at Rackspace, where John works, so this is a great opportunity for me to get back on track with a lot of things. Blogging, eating, everything. Hopefully, I’ll make writing a bigger priority this year. In the meantime, I’ll probably be eating a crapload of quinoa.

Quinoa Cups
Ingredients

• 2 cups cooked quinoa
• 2 eggs
• 2 egg whites
• 1 head of broccoli
• 1 onion or green onion, chopped

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cook the quinoa. Let sit for a bit.
2. Combine all ingredients in a large bowl. Season with salt and pepper. Spray a muffin tin or line with liners. Put mix in the tin, and top with cheese if desired.

NOTE: Put whatever you want in this recipe. In this version, I left out cheese, but used pancetta. You can use sausage, leeks, cauliflower, really anything. Use cumin if you want to. Red pepper if you like it spicy. It’s a good way to use leftover produce. You really just want to make sure you have enough egg in there to bind everything together.